Yogi Barra, a former catcher for the New York Yankees, is often remembered for stating the obvious. “It’s deja vu all over again” was one of the more famous expression attributed to Mr. Barra.

You may quit your job and move out of New York City to start all over again in San Francisco. After a while it seems like the experiences that you were trying to get away from in New York have followed you to your new city. You have a new job, new friends and a new apartment in a new city, but it seems like your experiences have remained the same. At work if you just close your eyes and listen for a while, you new boss may even sound and act like your old boss in New York. One may be male and the other female. One may be black and the other white, but if you didn’t know any better you would swear they were identical twins. You may have changed cities, jobs and friends, but your experiences remained the same.

When most people say they want to change, what do they really mean? They want to change the situation they are in but they don’t want to change the reasons that cause them pain. They don’t want to change themselves. They are making superficial and not real change.

Moving to a new city, changing jobs or spouses may change your scenery but not your experiences. Your story remains the same. It’s like watching a play based on the story of Cinderella. It doesn’t matte what country you are in, the story remains the same. The characters may look and speak French in France, Japanese in Japan, or English in America, but almost everyone in the world who is familiar with the story of Cinderella will understand the play even if they don’t speak the language.

To truly change your experiences, you have to deal with the things that got you there in the first place. Otherwise, it will be deja vu all over again.